I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain

There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment.
I have been complimented myself a great many times,
and they always embarrass me-I always feel that they
have not said enough.
twain

Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
Mark Twain

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly.
I said, "I don't know."
Mark Twain

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief
denied even to prayer.
Mark Twain

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker
will be sorry.
Mark Twain

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a
member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
Mark Twain

Mark Twain and I are in very much the same position.
We have to put things in such a way as to make people,
who would othrwise hang us, believe that we are joking.
George Bernard Shaw, on Mark Twain

In the early days I liked Bret Harte, and so did the others;
but by and by I got over it; so did the others.
Mark Twain

Buy land, they're not making it anymore.
Mark Twain

Always do right. This will gratify some people
and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain

In one place in Deerslayer, and in the restricted space
of two thirds of a page, Cooper has scored 114 offenses
against literary art out of a possible 115. It breaks the record.
Mark Twain, on James Fenimore Cooper